the time i didn't talk.

i remember the time i didn't talk to you for three months; i remember how hard it was. and now my biggest fear is that i'm going to have to do it again. what do you mean you don't know what you think of all of it?! i'm sorry i'm a frustrated mess.

i had a dream last night where you blocked all contact from me.

last time i had a dream about you it came true the next day. is it okay that i'm terrified?

the distance gets further.

you might as well be an ocean away. i traveled extensively to come back with less than i what went with. one would think that three hundred seventy-eight miles is not unreachable, but under circumstances and lacking both sides needed to make it work, it's quite impossible. either that, or i wait ten more months. i'm not sure which is worse. and realistically, it's a state between. more like an eternity.

blah. let me wallow in my misery.

-imagine something that could happen and may already have. because i thought i'd be laughing in a couple days relaxing, enjoying what i don't have, but now i'm missing what i had. i pull a crumpled picture from my wallet and i put it on the dash. and the car swerves, i'm not paying attention. i hope that i don't crash.- -yfpg.

the lost chapters.

lately, i have had this dying urge to find my mother. all i know is her name and where she is from which, surprisingly, is not very helpful. i also do not have the balls to call these numbers i find for people with the same name. maybe someday. if you know a teri kirley, let me know.

the b-side tracks.

i've exhausted my amount of toleration for summer weather. there's a point where jackets aren't needed, but welcomed. i'm all worn out and have seen everything from bangkok, to paris, to calvary. it's time to create a veneer by lacing up my arms with sleeves. tuck secrets and freshly crunched leaves into my pockets.

summer has turned it's back on me once again. i'm tired and not the type where my eyes need to shut.

sophistication.

i was married to the stronghold,

held on to the back of a magazine

relived the reiteration

scuffled to the far side.

you're a song i vocalize as i read the libretto.

what if i carry an aristocratic disdain

day to week, to weakend.

have you ever felt this way?

wide-eyed.

oblivious, heedless, or ignorant.

perhaps naive.

hands to myself.

you've got me right where you want me.
let's never talk, let's never. let's never talk of this again because

i didn't want it to mean that much to me.
i didn't want it to mean that much to me.
i didn't want it to mean that much to me.
i didn't want it to mean that much to me.

anyway; yeah.

-tbs.

se7en.

i'm up to seven now with hope on the horizon.

seven

-five dictionary results
sev-en

–noun

1. a cardinal number, 6 plus 1.

2. a symbol for this number, as 7 or VII.

3. a set of this many persons or things.

4. a playing card with seven pips.

seven wonders of the world.
seven sins.
seven days of creation.
seven servical vertebrae.
seven in a septet.
seven of nine.
seven days of the week.
seven seas.
seven chakras.
seven continents.
seven dwarfs.


saturday.
uranus.
vertebra prominens.
superbia.
the right to a jury trial.
major, minor.

lucky.

leading tone.
roygbiv.